lotsa lessons to learn...

i tink i learnt some new things today!

learnt to make sure i know the deadline of gan cheong spider. ASAP to her means really ASAP. IF she can get it the next min, it wld be best... Wat i tink is asap, does not equate to hers, i am glad i clarified with her and not find out afterwards tt it's long due according to her stds. :(

And perhaps some breakthru in the issues tt's been occupying my tots too.

i'm juz not the kind who will quit without a job or at least a promise of steady income. partly due to family commitments and also own commitments, like insurance and savings. SO i thought i shld be more diligent in developing some kind of online biz! i had tried tt once a few yrs ago. din really take off. but i tink thr's hope...and it's different this time. tt time i was in a comfy job which keeps me satisfied, at least monetarily. current one, bz...got spider above me. and those who know me, i am terrified of spiders, real or figurative ones... and soemhow i tink if i stay too long in the job, might get heart failure...cuz always kena arrow...which has short deadlines...

and even though thr might be an online biz...might not be enuff money, maybe can take up a part time job or some tuition assignments. and if i can get a part time job in some banks, wld be great too, since i am keen to enter tt industry but wld like a preview first.

so all in all, it's not a bad day...

wish me luck for tml! :)

zombie-fy...

I am sleeping too little recently...

every nite sleep at 1plus am...last nite was 2 plus am. wake up at 7.10am... tt's abt 5 or 6 hrs...and i dun sleep well during the nite too... :( many dreams disrupting my rest...

how?

Reading another book now...

It's by Andrew Matthews. Title: Follow Your Heart: Finding Meaning in Life and Work...it's borrowed from the library, this girl is v poor, cannot afford to buy another book..

I have another book of his, named Being Happy. When i got it, i din see much value in it. Now it's wif my bf...and i tink i find find new meanings in it.

Cuz i find tt all his books revolve ard the same ideas. he toks abt the same things, like being comfortable with money enough to keep the wif us and being attached to ppl/things is the sure way to lose them. ideas which might seem strange to some ppl. esp the part whr he says most ppl r not comfortable wif money, tt's y keep trying to get rid of it, i.e. to spend it. But he's not telling readers to STOP spending altogether, but to be comfortable enuff to keep some of the money as savings, rather than spending it all.

And thr's another part abt changing ur beliefs to change the way things turn out. for eg, if u stop believingthat you are miserable and doomed for misery for life, then u will feel happier. according to him, it's cuz u attract wat u believe.

but i tink it's cuz when u believe smtg will happen, u will tend to look out for it and thus be more aware when it happens. foreg, if u believe u r unlucky all ur life, even if u strike lottery, u will believe it's a one-off. and when u step on shit or trip on a banana skin, u will believe tt's the bad luck u r toking abt.

anywayz, his book r worth a look...but i juz need to tink things thru more thoroughly...changing my beliefs is not gg to be ez... *opps* hv to believe it's ez. it's possible...i believe i can fly.... :þ

Someone's watching...

Having colleagues who read my bog is abit scary...hehe... and i hv to be careful abt discussing work.. :þ

somehow i hv been rather fickle...changing my mind ever-so-often abt whether to stay or not... today had been terribly bz... and my stomach wasn't in its happiest mood. tink i have indigestion or smtg. the whole wkend, not much appetite, kept feeling bloated wif gas. and kept burping...even today. and symptoms get worse after i have food. i've been eating lesser mostly cuz i feel my stomach can't really take it... even as i am typing now, it's still throwing tantrums... :( not the best state to be in on a bz Monday...

and i hv a feeling my indigestion is due to stress...

anyway...it seems i am changing my mind abt this job again... *so colleagues who read, ignore me first ya?* v v uncertain... tink i hv v high inertia... :(

shall tink deeper abt the issue...or maybe it's juz PMS... :(

the world is round...

dunno y the title...but suddenly felt like putting tt as title...

maybe juz felt that cuz the world is round...so it's like anything can happen. NO..nothing drastic happened to me yet...

anyway today got bwah by my boss for smtg i feel is not my fault. and somehow i dare to speak up. and tried to explain my case to her. i tink i am finally growing up leh... *roll eyes* my case din get thru but ok, learn the lessons..let go of the unhappiness... no problems.. :)

it helps that she can separate work and personal properly i guess. on a personal level, i tink she's quite nice person and ez to chat wif. but biz, she's no-nonsense. to a certain extent, she's a better boss than my previous one... previous one v weird mood swings...

had a good chat wif her during my confirmation appraisal. felt more motivated to work harder after chatting, mostly cuz i know whr i stand and oso knowing more abt wat's happening in the skool helps me to see how my work helps to grow the skool. such chats r definitely beneficial for me and oso for her as well i guess. when she discusses wif me, i present some views which possibly she might not have tot of. :)

ok..so toks abt leaving prob shld stop for a while...i HOPE! hehe...well the world is round ya...so anything can STILL happen lor... :þ

Sidenote: abt the book, seriously the story is v simple...juz tt the msg is deep...not everyone will choose to tink in the way i did... so rest assured, its ez reading... :)

Research about different Occupations...

I think i need to start some research about the different occupations liao..since i wld like to discover wat i wanna consider as a career... so perhaps everyone cld juz contribute?

the goods and bads of ur job. wat interests you most. the thing u dread most in ur job.

although i know everyone's diff. but i tink it helps if i get an idea of how the diff jobs r like...gd as a guide :)

gotta really assess wat i do best and enjoy.

abt tt book nic was mentioning. it's called The 'Why are you here?' Cafe... rather interesting read. short story... not v complex ideas but things tt many ppl lose sight of when they get caught up wif life and work...etc... it's abt asking urself 3 qns... "Why am I here?", "Am I afraid of Death?" and "Am I fulfilled?".

it's abt how ppl juz go along wif life, going into studies/jobs which they might not enjoy, cuz of money or other reasons like 'others tink tt's a gd job/area of study'... and they end up feeling unfulfilled. And thus they will try to achieve tt feeling of fulfillment outside of work, either by buying something they like, doing smtg they enjoy, etc. Which sometimes involve large amt of money. and they get caught in the cycle of earning money to finance their purchases by engaging in unfulfilling jobs.

Thr's another idea of planning for retirement whr u can do anything u like after u retire. but the book advocates tt IF u find smtg u enjoy doing and finds fulfillment in the job u r doing, thr's no need to wait till retirement! which is true in a way, dun u tink? and if thr's fulfillment in the job, thr wldn't be a need to find tt outside of work...

BUT it's easier said than done to find a job that fulfils you. first u got to know wat u like to do. which needs some self-reflection. and perhaps tinking of the times that you felt happy/accomplished doing smtg might help? And when u r filled with energy, excited abt doing/discussing it with others.

according to the book, if you enjoy ur work, it will show in the way u execute it...ur enthusiasm will show and ur passion will be contagious... thus thr wldn't be a possibility that you are unable to survive on the job. haha...this part i'm not too sure. esp in s'pore's context. although i must say i am greatly attracted by the idea of feeling good abt working...considering my current state...

Book's currently with a colleague, Sharon. Once she's done, it's free to go to the next person who wans to borrow it... i'm starting a waiting list. :þ hehe..

Now, back to work...sigh...BUT lunch soon...! haha..

Still Sian Sian...

Well...this week is passing abit faster...but i tink i still sian sian leh.. how?

Should I be browsing Recruit once again? hehe...

Anywayz...juz read the horoscope for this week...it says i will be feeling like i will be better off working in another place or even doing my wn thing (i interpret as doing some kind of iz myself)... tt's v true leh. Cuz i been toying wif the idea of starting smtg again...esp strong feeling this week... but it advises me not to make any rash decision... Me, being me...normally dun make V rash decisions anyway.... hehe...

it says i shld be asking ppl wat i wan on wednesday oso and i might get them...!!! let me tink... a new hp... my own hse... an obscene sum of money without obligations... CAN? CAN?

Still looking for: advisor, career coach, life coach
Still enjoy: Meeting people in casual settings...

Sian...

I am barely 2 mths into this new job and i am losing steam?

This week been feeling v sian..totally no mood for work! maybe cuz boss not ard, no motivation? but if boss ard, then v bz leh... must be fan jian! must be stressed and pressured then will enjoy work... SIAO CHAR BOH!!!

on a more serious note, i really been thinking... wat kind of job is really suitable for me? how come i still duno? i mean i'm not youny anymore k! sigh... need a career coach perhaps? how come i can't find someone more senior/wise/knowledgeable/helpful who can advise me?????

or can i actually start a small biz...properly....?? how?? how?? how??

Anyway...according to lillian too's book, this mth for me not so good, guess i got to be more careful liao...

SOMEBODY OUT THERE!!!! HELP ME!!!