Been a few troubled years isn't it... Read some of the old entries from various blogs I had... Since 2008... Things haven't been exactly smooth...
Has it something to do with not knowing what I want? I think I have been rather lost...for a while.
I mean... I have a family. And I really love my kid. It's a wonderful thing watching him grow up. My hubby is understanding and patient. Should I ask for more? Is it a case of being greedy?
What do I really want?
I really am unsure. Or maybe my mind keeps changing... Or it could well be that the wants are evolving as I grow older...
I am getting lazy by the year too... Like I think of something I want...I will be like...am I sure I am up to it? Time with my kid is a very big factor. I don't want to sacrifice time with him...
I'm contemplating to be a sahm... And I will be thinking...can I really take it...spending full day everyday with my boy at home... Not having my own income means not being to spend as freely as I have been.... I don't think I need a lot to survive... But I do need to tame the wanderous eyes on shopping sites...
Should I do some home based business then? This would probably be even more busy than having a day job... Just that I am physically home most of the time... Might not work as my boy needs my attention if I am home... Means super distracted... Business probably will fail..
Am I being too negative...? I think i have lost some parts of me along the way over the past few years...
I remember myself as a more cheerful, more caring, more positive person....
Today I see quite a negative person, tired and somewhat grumpy person in its place...
And I don't like it at all...
How should I return to that original state... I have been thinking that I need some time away from family to centre myself... Have time to think.... But can I actually do that... Practical? And can I stand being away from my boy....
How to be happier? More positive? Love life?
Oh my... It's 2am.... I really should sleep soon... There's work tomorrow!
