Restart my life?

I always think it's important not to have regrets in life. And in most decisions till now, even though I have made mistakes many many many times, I take them as lessons in life and learn from these experiences, sweet or bitter...

But recently I think I have been making so many mistakes that I really think I need another chance to go through probably the past 2 or 3 years again... MAYBE I will make better decisions this time...

Life really is difficult... isn't it? You only get 1 chance at most things you do...and for every decision made, you have to face the consequences, good and bad...

Wedding Vows in Singapore
Registrar's Address
Before you are joined in matrimony, it is my duty to remind you of the
solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make. Marriage
according to law is the union of one man and one woman, voluntarily entered into
for life, to the exclusion of all others.

Do I understand that you __________________ and you ________________ are
here of your own free will for the purpose of becoming man and wife?
Couple answer together: Yes

To Bridegroom
Will you, __________________ take this woman ______________ to be your
wedded wife, to live together in the legal estate of matrimony? Will you love
her, comfort her, honour and keep her in sickness and in health and forsaking
all others, be faithful to her, so long as you both shall live?
Answer: I will

To Bride
Will you, _________________ take this man _________________ to be your
wedded husband, to live together in the legal estate of matrimony? Will you love
him, comfort him, honour and keep him in sickness and in health and forsaking
all others, be faithful to him, so long as you both shall live?
Answer: I will

Registrar's Instructions
Take this ring and put it upon the third finger of his/her left hand and
repeat after me:

In token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love, with this ring
I marry you.

Registrar's Pronouncement
As both of you have given your consent before me to live together in
matrimony and have solemnly promised, each to the other to do so, I now
pronounce you two Man and Wife.

Every wedding I attend, I will still feel tears in my eyes when I hear the above. Every Single One! Even when I read them now, I also feel the tears welling...

Of cuz they are touching words. Shows the commitment of the 2 people and also signals the start of the life they are going to share.

But what I feel more is the weight of these words. As in fear i tink, about upholding whatever i am promising to the person standing beside me at that moment. Maybe I take promises too seriously. Or you can say I am afraid of commitments. Or maybe it can be something else that I am not sure of? Maybe I should go for a chat with someone professional.

In fact I cried at my own solemnisation ceremony. I wasn't sure if they were tears of..joy? fear?

I have never thought of it this way...I am afraid of the commitment involved? Someone offered this view to me recently. I am starting to think about it.

Commitment is a very big word. To start of, I think I did not see a good example at home for me to model my life after. Of cuz this is not a good excuse for the bad decisions. I tend to think that people learn from their environments a lot and especially from family since they are the only people you are in contact with from birth...

I'm in office now, but have to rush off. Resume later today...Really have a lot of thoughts on this issue...hopefully they will still be in my mind later on... 7pm...

Now I'm back home, 11pm...shall attempt to get back to the issue...

Is it really possible to give all those promises stated in the vows? There are quite a few...anyone can summarise that into something simpler? I guess marriage juz isn't simple...