Another insight..

After a long chat, a friend told me she feels i have decided... I said i have... unless something very drastic happens...otherwise i think i have...

characters cannot be changed...needs remain unchanged...and the unhappiness will persist...

another thing we discussed...making changes for each other in a rs.. tt's normal and even to be expected since for 2 ppl to be together, it's impossible to have a perfect fit...compromise and working together is impt. for me, i have thought abt this and decided i hv changed..unknowingly in the rs...things which are deeper down and things i dun regret changing - being calmer and better wif money...but i juz din feel the same fr the other side of the rs...my perception..and of cuz i dun mind someone telling me otherwise.

anyway her opinion is tt she feels he shows tt he cares when we are out together... but maybe it's on the surface (after hearing me out). deep inside...i dun tink changes were really made... she said, after hearing wat i said...she understands wat i am saying...as she is the same too..with regards to some of my expectations etc...maybe it's juz wat women need and how sometimes men can't match up...

all these r more on hindsight...cuz i haven't really tot abt everything till recently. when u r in it, u dun really tink rite? u feel and things happen naturally...i prob shld hv TINK and TINK before it's now abit too late...

she told me tt the thing i will miss most is a person who has always been there for me since i got to know him...i said that person has been there physically BUT not providing support for a while now... in that sense...i wldn't really be missing it... BUT anyhow i said i still wld feel something and i know it...

whether i am prepared for this or not, i am not sure...

I might even be very devastated for quite a while...as i always am when i lose someone (Whether by choice or not)... my reactions are juz slow for such things when making decisions (cuz it's using brain and not heart)...the effect sinks in only when everything is settled..(heart starts taking over to feel the loss)

however i believe wif my frens around me, i wld recover...eventually. and wif busy work schedules etc...time shld pass faster...

i definitely wld feel lonely at times...inevitable...but if smtg is necessary...i can't fight it juz cuz of temporary discomfort...

i prefer to take this short term pain rather than to suffer for the rest of my life..and i feel i am too young to resign to destiny...better now than to wait till thr r more and more deterents in future..

So i guess...in a very unprepared way...i have made a decision...

i juz prayed that my frens wld be thr for me...and if not, i have to be strong and independent...all by myself...