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Saturday, October 30, 2004

The Final Working Saturday...A Historical Moment..

Yes! Good Morning! It's Saturday Morning and I'm working. Surprised that I sound cheeery? I dun normally hate working on Sats anyway, but today there is a better reason to be celebrating! haha... It's my last working Sat..! YES! YES! YES! *In manner of a particular suggestive shampoo commercial*

I'm very honoured to be working the final Saturday in the company's history as it is such a significant moment and marks the end of Saturday workdays for the company! *BULLSHIT* :þ

Thanks to the decreasing birthrates in S'pore, and in the name of having more family time, Sats r no longer workable! haha... Good thing for employees, not! now we hv shorter lunch hours and longer wkdays..so we'll still be tired and need the sleep on wkends, so we still won't be able to spend time with the family! haha... Well...I was juz presenting wat SOME singaporeans might say...those who like to complain abt EVERTHING...

I personally like the change, like the idea of not having to wake up for work on sats, though I have gotten so used to waking up early everyday, can't slp late anymore. I dun tink I like shorter lunchtimes and late knock off though, BUT i know there must be trade offs... I guess I wil get used to it soon. Just that I will be rushing like mad on Thursdays since the mad girl in me got myself registered for Exercise Classes from 6.30-7.30pm and Langauage Classes from 8-10pm! Thankfully, this will only last till December when the exercise classes will end. haha... I shall register for another time slot to avoid the crazy schedule....

Had a late nite supper this morning...was hungry...guilty but hungry... had supper anyway. Actually was out partly due to a friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed.... I always want to be that friend whom ppl can rely on in times of need. I'm not sure if I always manage, but i try my best! Anyway, this friend was troubled. I was upset too. So we agreed to go out to tok. I pride myself as the soulmate of this friend. The history is complex, he used to be my boyfriend eons ago...I sort of was his clutch whenever his rs hits the rocks after that. I feel la. So i call myself his soulmate. BUT i have seen him grow since I know him 8 years ago. He's interesting and creative, things I always remind him of. If you are reading this, YES, you know who u r, you are creative and interesting, though abit dumb at the same time! haha...

Anyway, he has grown, become more matured though still v fickle-minded and highly excitable...Ok, last nite or rather this morning, he was telling me this thing abt communication within a relationship (rs) which i find very true but difficult to apply for my own rs CUZ I am too emotional. The thing about open communication, i tink it requires both party to be more rational and to speak to the pt. If not, there seems to be no point when discussion goes round and round again. Oso, need one party to be more rational, I guess, so as to give the discussion a proper direction to follow. And there should also be a certain objective to be reached in the end. A clear cut conclusion is important too. Leaving things hanging in the air makes the whole discussion a huge waste of time in the end.

As for me, I am emotional...I need more emotional nourishment from my rs. Not that other aspects are unimportant but I can be relatively more independant in other areas, it seems. I need emotional security. Emotional support. And I need the other person to be more matured, able to steer arguments to resolution, instead of going round and round, repeating same arguments of unhappiness, nobody willing to really compromise, i guess. And of cuz I won't be doing nothing in the meantime. I guess the way I react will be to resist in the beginning then I will follow if i see the good in the methods he uses. I will take the cue from him. I also believe that once I feel acceptance from my partner, I will be changing for the better. But i need acceptance first...weird but I sort of think that's how I work.

No rs is a bed of roses and I tink the most impt thing is to know how to cope wif the expression of unhappiness and anger. Either to know how to repress it at the moment and to tok over the moments when calm OR the other person should learn how to cope wif the sudden bursts of unhappiness and anger especially if the person is quick-tempered. I prefer the 2nd way cuz I admit that I am quite quick-tempered. Fast to anger but fast to cool down oso if treated correctly? Many girls are like that rite?

I guess I have found a direction in this blog... Haha.. Juz write watever comes to mind? Is life about Waiting or not, it's not up to me to decide since I'm not even halfway through my life... Still, regarding relationships, I tink I am taking a long break. Have to sort things out. Unless I do see someone who's really a gem and can't be missed, which i reckon is near impossible... And as I have told my soulmate when he was telling me about the risk of taking the step into a rs, he said risk aversity of average person is ard 50% maybe, I told him i need to be 80% sure that the rs is going to work out before I will take that step. I am disillusioned at the moment but not hopeless cuz I still will take that 20% chance...

Till the gem comes or when I awake from my slumber then...

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